My parents and I had a discussion about their childhood experiences, and how could they relate to mine. Unfortunately, they could not think of any memories. Even if they said did, the topic was usually difficult for me to relate. However, a trait that grabbed my attention the most is her lack of focus, which was mentioned from my mother. Most of the time she could not give full attention to her work.
Whenever my mother is doing certain tasks, she tends to put her attention to other things like what errands she would be doing. She also then think of other thoughts, and gets farther away from the tasks at hand. I asked my mother what childhood experience made her like that, but I assume it has been innate.
The reason why this certain characteristic grabbed my attention is because it is one of the most relatable problems that I have right now. I often lack focus in performing basic tasks because of daydreaming to the point that I am not focusing on what I am doing.
I was surprised when I found out my mother had this because I have always thought that this vice mostly comes from my father, who also tends to be a scatterbrain. For instance, most of the time, calling him via phone is difficult because he does not often check his phone nor seem to detect it when it rings.
Out of curiosity, I asked my brother if he has gotten the same problem, and he confirmed having the same experience. He told me that he also lacks focus to the point that he is taking more time than usual in performing certain tasks. An example that he gave me is when it can took him 30 minutes just to study one page on his notebook.
I can say that this may be a pattern that runs through the family, and it is not beneficial to my us. Not being able to focus can hinder in performing basic tasks properly. Since we tend to lack focus on certains tasks, we consequently neglect and forget about them more often. We also tend to take more time than usual in finishing a task.
Ever since when I was younger, my mother says to me, “Focus” whenever she sees me out of focus on doing the task at hand. She also told me that she often says this to herself to snap her back to reality, and she is doing this technique to me so I can also get rid of it as soon as possible. She doesn’t want me to experience what she is experiencing that is why she reminds me to focus even in a younger age so that I would be able to get rid of it as early as possible.
There is no surprise that I barely remember any instances of me being out of focus to the point of doing careless action when I was child. I often remember the feeling, but not the memory. I only remember my mother saying the word, “focus” a lot of times to remind me. The earliest I remember is during my adolescence when I tend to forget to close the front gate when going outside the house.
In terms of the different Erikson stages, my problem more likely relates to the third stage: Initiative vs Guilt. I have difficulty in choosing a stage, but I choose stage 3 because it is so far the most relateable. Whenever my mother has to remind me to focus on a certain task at hand, I tend to feel guilty. I felt that the task that I am doing is important, and negligence may cause me a mistake.
An example as mentioned earlier is the gate. If I had not remembered to close the gate, unsuspected robbers may still items from the garage such as my brother’s bike. Another instance is when I take more time than usual in doing a project. I also tend to feel guilt because how much time that I have wasted
Overall, I have learned from my mother about how prominent of having lack of focus. My family tends to have a short attention span in performing tasks. Consequently, we tend to forget certain tasks easily. We may not even perform those tasks effectively, and may take too much time to finish. This habit can affect us negatively like feelings if guilt. I need to follow my mother advice that we must get rid of this vice soon.
The Myself Journal 