For my creative output, I have created a character based on my blogs. Her name is Juana, and she is part-human and part-plant. She was born fully human, but started to develop characteristics of plant life. It started one day when she came across a secret shop hidden in the woods. She decided to purchase what appears to be lotus-shaped candies. It was very addicting because it helps her forget her problems so she keeps on going back, and purchase more.
However, the candies come with consequences. As Juana consumes more, her body slowly starts to become plant-like, which explains her green skin. The heart is mostly affected, which is why Juana starts to become unfeeling. Consequently, she becomes less motivated to do work, and more apathetic towards social issues. Juana is aware how dangerous this lifestyle is, but still has difficulty in making a change. Juana as a character reflects how I am often devoid of emotion. Most of my blogs revolves around suppressing my emotions and facing the consequences.
A good example is blog#1. It is about the reflection on my emotions in relation with the movie, Inside Out. I mentioned that I related to one of the characters, Riley, when she started to become emotionless. The other characters inside Riley’s head had no longer control over her. This scene reflects how I often suppress my emotions as a coping mechanism in dealing stress. The blog also talks about Sadness. I often suppress this emotion; hence I suffer the consequences. Without expressing sadness to others, people are not aware that I have a problem. Thus, people do not offer help to me when I am in need.
In blog #2, I mention how I called myself phlegmatic. I barely show emotion that I am usually apathetic, indecisive, and unambitious. Because of having no emotion, I have difficulty in motivating myself in accomplishing my school works. I even take more time than usually when completing a certain project. I even mention how I am apathetic again at my 3rd blog where I mainly focus on how I suppress emotions to combat stress.
In blog #4, how my apathy affects me with elaboration of system 1 and system 2. My system 1, which deals with performing actions by instinct, is unresponsive. This hinders me from doing even simple tasks. In order to fix this issue, I need to put more effort in system 2 by paying more attention to my surroundings. Unfortunately, I cannot focus. The reason why I cannot focus is because I do not pay attention to my surroundings. This again has something to do with my apathetic nature. Without feeling of being endangered, my body does not feel the need to be cautious.
Overall, the reason why I created an unfeeling character is to reflect my apathetic nature. I usually suppress my emotions in order to cope with stress. This can cause consequences on my reaction time and memory. Like Juana, I am still at a struggle at getting rid of my apathy, but knowing the problem is the first step in fixing it, which is why I am glad that my blogs help me for that.
The Myself Journal 